Friends and family may rally to their side. I saw the signs, the depression, his feelings of hopelessness, but somehow its easier to see the signs after it happens and not while you are in the throes of this emotional rollercoaster. Hines, who suffers from bipolar disorder, survived a jump from San Francisco's Golden Gate Bridge in 2000. She is from Chapel Hill, N.C. My overdose gave me seizures. I love the analogy with weight loss. I hope you believe your words here, or at least are beginning to. But 10 years later, Im there again. Even though a prior suicide attempt dramatically increases the risk for future suicide, studies have demonstrated that most people who survive a suicide attempt do not go on to die by suicide: There are different possible reasons why people who attempt suicide, or try to make such an attempt, might choose afterward to stay alive. I just got out two days ago. I am literally living day by day and full of guilt, regret and anger. I was driving toward the Hoover Dam bypass bridge from Memphis over 4 years ago to jump off. According to San Francisco Police Department (SFPD) her family reported her missing two days after she was last seen on Oct 2, 2020. She was last seen September 30, 2020, from the San Francisco area near the Golden Gate Bridge specifically around Crissy field. Additionally, Hines takes medication and . Someone may have seen something -- any piece of information could help lead us to Sydney," parents Kimberly and Jay West said in a joint statement. I know how hard it is. Others need to respect the decision. I inherited two guns from my Dad, and I will take possession of them this month. Dr. Freedenthal also is an associate professor at the University of Denver Graduate School of Social Work, and a psychotherapist and consultant in private practice. Being a freshman and isolated on campus due to the COVID pandemic was hard for West, her family said. I woke up on my own after my first attempt. . I hope you will read it and take its words to heart. I feel selfish but I feel like I still have to be brave for people because of their fear I might try again. Trackback URL Rhodes was estranged from his wife Lorraine, who lived in the East Bay in Port Chicago with their two kids, Rocky, 4, and Oowala, 9, but he made arrangements for her to witness the stunt, maybe in the hope that the feat would win her back. I mean how long can I go ahead. I am very sorry for your loss. All 29 people who survived their suicide attempts off San Francisco's Golden Gate Bridge have said they regretted their decision as soon as they jumped. Theres just a lack of evidence that shes not with us anyone, Jay West said. As a person who has tried countless times to end my life, even shooting myself in the head, we are stuck living with yet another feeling of failure when we fail and continue suffering. Dusty thought he could do the same but let everyone see it, and so employed the services of his pal, Hollywood cameraman Jose Guzman, to capture the jump on film. And its been a long term plan, for 35 years, but become refined in that time. He completed the challenge and won himself a taxi ride to New York. We are going to keep looking.. What % of those people were financially ruined (ie dead broke) with no job or no home? This Walking Pad treadmill made getting 10,000 steps a How to get tickets for Depeche Mode's new tour dates. I just read your post. At the time of her disappearance Sydney was 5 feet 10 inches tall, weighs around 130 pounds with light brown hair and blue eyes. More often than not, the crisis passes. I often think that if we are going to make up what we tell ourselves about our future, we might at least make it good. and the evidence around them is not good. of the different medications. There is a strength within you. Rhodes, who also went by his native Navajo name Chief Sundown, was no stranger to danger. What do you tell the ones who still perceive they have no one how do I get through to him? Written forwww.speakingofsuicide.com. Golden Gate Bridge, suspension bridge spanning the Golden Gate in California to link San Francisco with Marin county to the north. I used to believe my problems are so intractable that the only way out of my pain was suicide. There are some reports that Sydney may have suffered from depression. Anyone interested in following the investigation may do so on Facebook or Instagram, and tag posts with #FindSydneyWest. Growing up Sydney was described as a sweet and goofy girl who wasnt afraid of being herself. For more information, please see our West's parents are asking anyone who may have been. Im sorry to hear about all the pain youve been through. At the age of 19, Kevin Hines attempted to commit suicide by jumping off the Golden Gate Bridge, an all-too-common act that nearly always results in death. Get browser notifications for breaking news, live events, and exclusive reporting. And now I have the means to do it. The most intuitive reason is that suicidal crises are, by their nature, temporary. We remain hopeful that someone knows something that will be helpful in finding her.. He had lost two fingers in a knife fight on the set of the movie "Scarface." She had moved in with friends in San Francisco, where she was living when she disappeared. You definitely are not alone, and it does often feel good to be honest about suicidal thoughts to speak what many people consider to be the unspeakable. The sad thing is that, as I say in my letter, some of what your friend thinks and believes may actually be true, but his mind is probably also shutting him out of other truths that could balance out his pain. Its a really simple concept. All theses years following, I did not feel good about myself, am reunited with my nephew, reading up on how to talk to him. A vigil was held last week for West in Pleasanton. We certainly do need to continue educating people about suicide prevention, including the reality that most people who survive a suicide attempt choose life afterwards. Horrified spectators screamed and mothers covered their childrens eyes as Chief Sundowns lifeless body bobbed under the bridge and out to sea. Andrew has written for The Atlantic, Vice, SF Weekly, the San Francisco Chronicle, McSweeney's, The Bold Italic, Drowned in Sound and many other places. But the cameras lost sight of her because of heavy fog, making it impossible to know what happened. Lorraine Rhodes was destitute, and asked Show Folks of America to help pay for the funeral, which they did. My sons father committed suicide and in the moments he was alive after shooting himself he kept saying sorry I shouldnt have never done this over and over. Any suggestions? Missing person: The San Francisco Police Department is asking the public to report any information regarding 19-year-old Sydney West who was last seen on Sept. 30, 2020, at SF's Crissy Field. Healthcare sucks, Government sucks, Law Enforcement Sucks, the economy sucks, the housing market, job, market, and prospects suck, no body likes me, including myself, and I really dont like anyone else either. He managed to turn himself upright in the few seconds it took for him to hit the water; this way, he did not land on his head. This Walking Pad treadmill made getting 10,000 steps a How to get tickets for Depeche Mode's new tour dates. It is true that suicide sometimes defies even the best efforts to thwart it. A jump off the Golden Gate Bridge takes around four seconds, during which a person will reach a speed of 80 mphbefore smashing into the water's surface like concrete. "We know that there was a lot of pedestrian, car and bicycle traffic on the Golden Gate Bridge the morning Sydney disappeared. San Francisco Police have previously said the teenager "is considered at risk due to depression." "I just want to reach out to all the folks that have been supporting us over the past almost month now, communicate that the support and the love that we get is just absolutely amazing," Wests dad, Jay West, said in the clip. In this clinical case conference, the authors begin by presenting vignettes to capture the diversity of bridge suicide. Parents hope key to teen's disappearance is with passerby on Golden Gate Bridge, How one storm system wreaked havoc from coast to coast, Californians await key decisions from reparations task force, Bankman-Fried might use flip phone under stricter bail plan, Woman accused of killing ill husband released from jail, Alaska's arduous Iditarod kicks off with ceremonial start, was initially thought to have last been seen or heard from early the morning of September 30 in the Crissy Field area. Public File for KBCW-TV / KBCW 44 Cable 12. After all, they were intent on dying. What Dr. Seiden found is a remarkable testament to the fact that a suicidal crisis is often very often temporary. West's parents are asking anyone who may have been commuting or exercising on the bridge to come forward with anything they may have seen. Previously, police said she had not been seen or heard from since before dawn, on Sept. 29. He grew up in the Los Angeles area, went to UC Berkeley and has previously worked as a news reporter at USA Today and SFGATE and as a music writer at NPR. She was a student at Donlon Elementary and Hart Middle schools and attended Foothill High School for her freshman and sophomore years. Thank you for sharing your thoughts. In 2013, Briggs retired from the California Highway . It seems to be an if all else fails, Ill just kill myself attempt to cope that gives me short-term comfort but itlike alcoholonly provides temporary relief and Im still left with my limited ability to cope with life. Im recommending this because of your sense that you could have stopped the suicide from happening if you hadnt been so stupid, as you so painfully put it. At 10 o'clock in the morning, Ken. West was born in Walnut Creek and lived briefly in Castro Valley before her family moved to Pleasanton. Sure if youve got someone/s to bail you out after your attempt, yeah youve got a reason to live. Maybe I didnt want to think he could actually do it. Or, at least, balanced! Thank you for contributing to the discussion. For example, upon hearing me take total responsibility for the failure of my first marriage a gifted woman who is a counselor and pastor said, I typically find that both parties share responsibility equally. The details of your life will, of course, be different but we have our humanness in common. We cannot overlook that 10% of people who survive a suicide attempt do go on to die by suicide. But what about people like me? I fully expected to talk to her the next day, Jay West told KRON4. For me, the will to live kicked in. Why Prevent Suicide? Which will turn into the vicious cycle of no job= no money, and no money = no job. At 11:45 a.m. on Sept. 20, 2013 Kyle Gamboa stopped his truck in the middle of the highway, stepped out, ran onto the pedestrian walkway and jumped off the Golden Gate Bridge to his death. But its possible theres not more you could have done. She took a ride-share service. "This will be the biggest jump of my life," he told her. 15, 12, by Americaoncoffee. Enter your email address to receive notifications by email of new posts. He has no one else but me. They're asking anyone "who may have been walking, biking, running, who commute over the bridge particularly Wednesday mornings at that time" to share information. I feel stuck between a rock and a hard place. And these different medications can be combined at various dosages. Lately, the suicidal thoughts have permeated my brain. A $25,000 reward is being offered for anyone who has information that leads to her return. Has he tried cognitive behavior therapy? I wanted to talk with others in the same situation but I could understand how that may not be in the best interest of either party. Everything says Get help. Police do not necessarily believe there was foul play involved, according to an interview Rueca had with KRON4. I recently lost a good friend to suicide. I feel fortunate and very grateful that so many individuals take their time and devote energy to sharing what they have experienced in their lives-it is so difficult for most people to understand in its wholeness-the value of life ..the science of every day living and the extreme depth and mystery and solstice to human beings, but one way to start understanding why people: innocents commit suicide is to acknowlege the exact factors of why a healthy person would just turn off the switch to existence. I wish everyone could receive this gift, and I am grateful that you and others have done so! And they did for the Hollywood stuntmans attempt to sail off the Golden Gate Bridge on Feb. 6, 1948. Each year I did - 2004, 2007, and 2013 - the Red Sox went on to win the World Series. Sydney Kaitlyn West, 19, was last seen near the Golden Gate Bridge around 6:45 a.m. on September 30, 2020. My brother did the same in 2002. ive suffered depression for Years, 2 suicide attempts in 2008. Thank you for reaching out to Joan and offering your support. It is always wonderful to hear from someone who made it out to the other side. SFGATE news editor Amy Graff contributed to this report. Leads continue to come in, her parents said. Yet it gives me great hope that the vast majority of suicide attempt survivors remain just that survivors. Have had lots of therapy after that. West may have been wearing dark leggings, blue Vans shoes and a teal sweatshirt at the time of her disappearance. What, Im supposed to carry on with the HOPE that things MIGHT get better. I still think about suicide, although not as often. I knew then that I would never try it again. Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email. His passing causes lots of pain, sadness and changed others lives entirely. Reach out to someone, anyone because I can tell you they have no idea how you feel. Copyright 2023 Nexstar Media Inc. All rights reserved. When I arrived at the #FindSydneyWest vigil in Pleasanton, I said whoever is singing has a beautiful voice. I have to attend Court for something I have not done, the pressures that as put on me is colossal, yetI still have to attend, I know I will collapse in court from the stress and also have a serious heart condition on medication for it. They understand the battle with weight loss and a zillion other things but not suicide. It is wonderful that having children seems to have inoculated you against suicidal thoughts. Dialectical behavior therapy? Its great to hear that things are going well for you now. That's a mind-blowing statement. Saving Lives at the Golden Gate Bridge. Dayna. Turns out, it was a recording of Sydney singing. But, as you said, the problem is also bigger than a question of means. Both my son and I said we woud never consider it again, after that. Look at life this way Instead of allowing a human being to be a target almost like a bomb dropping on ringed target Simply flip the idea of all the violence and fear over..Draw a Large Heart then several hearts within Make a plan for dreams and plans Stick to it .. Holidays and milestones come and go while we continue to feelSydney's absence continuously. A good place to start is the Facebook group Live Through This. 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You can read more about this at http://www.bmj.com/content/341/bmj.c4447. They lied about every imaginable factor of surviving in life. He has visited mental hospitals several times since his jump. It is also possible she was wearing eyeglasses instead of contact lenses. I often want to jump off the bridge by my apartment. The longitude and latitude for the Bridge location is approximately: N 37 Degrees, 49 Minutes, 8.0 Seconds --- W 122 Degrees, 28 Minutes, 40.6 Seconds. Case Contact Information: SFPD at 415-575-444 or text TIP411 (Start your message with SFPD) Or contact: private investigator Scott Dudek at 925-705-8328 or dudek.associates@gmail.com, *there is a reward for information that leads to her location and return, For more info: https://findsydneywest.com/ Facebook: Find Sydney West Instagram @find_sydney_west Polly Klaas Foundation: https://www.pollyklaas.org/missing-children/sydney-west/, Sources: https://pleasantonweekly.com/news/2021/09/30/what-a-week-find-sydney-west https://www.kron4.com/news/bay-area/searching-for-sydney-san-francisco-police-still-asking-for-publics-help/?fbclid=IwAR2uVE3anCjr5EvpUerTiD6JZxCAENR83-xIRz3TRzAfRuGckyYFzRqnobM https://storiesoftheunsolved.com/2020/11/27/the-disappearance-of-sydney-west/. She struggled with being so far away from her parents and sister, who reside in North Carolina. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. I hope he is seeing a psychiatrist for his medications, not a PCP, because psychiatrists are much more well versed in the benefits, risks, side effects, etc. I find myself returning to that time in my life and wondering if this is the way Im supposed to go, or if the survival instinct will continue to win. That changes things. 2023 Audacy, Inc. All rights reserved. A missing person case has also been launched in Orange County, North Carolina, where West's family lives. This research, though 35 years old, still holds true. I blame myself 100% for her suicide. The tragedy of suicide is indisputable. He once tried to jump off the Aloha Tower in Honolulu only to be thwarted at the last minute by police. Cameras on the Golden Gate Bridge recorded Sydney the morning of Sept. 30. In Mental Health circles there is a saying , that Sometimes suicide is inevitable. / CBS San Francisco. According to Find Sydney West, there is a $25,000 reward for information that leads to finding Syd, who is described as 5'10 tall and about 130 pounds with blue eyes and blonde hair. The Golden Gate net project is like putting a bandaid on an ulcer. Hello Tony, so sorry for my belated response. Has left me pretty much bankrupt and not willing to live. Each. Im about to be 22, medicated trying to live normal with constant suicidal thoughts. Footage in the area, according to a website the family recently set up in light of her disappearance, was blocked by fog and morning haze. Rhodes press agent, Susan Todd, told reporters that Dusty had painstakingly calculated the speed of his fall, how he would hit the water and other details, as he did when he prepared for his movie stunts. He published the results in an article titled Where Are They Now? "On Aug. 20, 1985, I jumped off the Golden Gate Bridge, and I survived." Ken Baldwin was 28 years old and had just started a family. I meant it, and I almost succeeded. But what if you dont want help? Clad in two suits, weighted boots, football padding, another rubber suit and a football helmet that onlookers described as giving him a man-from-Mars look, Rhodes also had three parachutes on his back to ease his fall.
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